What happens when I pray

What happens when I pray
               ---

Whenever I try to pray

   I find myself

     (or at least, I fail to lose myself)

   distracted

      (in record time)

   by

      10,000 things

By failures and grudges

   and time tables and pay scales

   by the good and the bad and --

      well, mainly, by the ugliness that simmers behind my smiles.

And if, by chance or by grace,

   I catch myself

   as I churn through the sludge of old, tired thoughts

And if, by chance or by grace,

   I don't turn the catching into more sludge

   fodder for the curving in

then --

   sometimes --

      some precious times --

         I can have a quiet, inward chuckle at myself.

And if, by chance or by grace,

   I do

Then the churn quiets down enough

   that I can hear --

      just barely

      out of the corner of my soul's eye

God chuckling softly with me.

You see,

   prayer is a serious thing.

But God knows 

   not to take it too seriously.