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I miss Robin Williams.
To be honest, I usually get sort of
annoyed about the media coverage surrounding celebrity deaths. With so much
tragedy and heartbreak in the world, it always seems a bit unfair that we get
so focused on the death of someone just because they’ve been in movies; and I
always wonder how the families and friends of famous folks feel about all of
the attention paid to them during such a personal, painful time.
But Robin Williams. I grew up with Robin
Williams. He was the genie in Aladdin; he was Mrs. Doubtfire; he was O captain,
my captain. Mr. Williams made a lot, a lot, a lot of people laugh; and he made
quite a few of us cry, too. And I have to admit that when I heard that he had
died, and that it was likely he had killed himself, I had the same reaction
that a lot of other folks had: “How could someone who made so many people happy
be in so much pain?”
Of course, speculations flew, and there
was a lot of talk about Mr. Williams’ past struggles with drug use, health
problems, and depression.
It’s important for me to say, before I
go on, that we don’t actually know whether Mr. Williams had a diagnosis of
depression or of bipolar disorder, and honestly maybe it’s none of our business.
But for folks who do have such a diagnosis, Williams’ self-description of his
emotional swings, the intensity of his highs and his lows, sound very, very
familiar. How can someone who made so many people happy, who seemed to be such
a bright light, be in so much pain?
As it turns out, it’s awfully, awfully
common. There is a type of anguish, a type of suffering that lurks in the wings
of some of our personal theaters, immune to lights or to applause. There is a
type of pain that is able to live on in the daylight.
It’s often very, very difficult for
people to talk about a pain like that. The church has, unfortunately, played no
small role in the creation of the kind of societal stigma that makes mental
health challenges particularly hard for people to share about. The journalist
Andrew Solomon writes, quite bluntly, that “The rise of Christianity was highly
disadvantageous to depressives.”[i]
The church often equated mental illness with demon possession and thus with
sin, moral failing, or a lack of faith. In the Middle Ages, theologians and
church authorities used the expression, “the noonday demon,” to refer to the
phenomenon we might call depression. Their solution? Manual labor, isolation,
or intensified ascetic practice.[ii]
The phrase, “noonday demon,” comes from
the Latin translation of the Psalm we heard read tonight. In the Common English
translation we heard the Psalmist say: “Don’t be afraid of terrors at night,
arrows that fly in daylight, or sickness that prowls in the dark, destruction
that ravages at noontime.” In the Latin Vulgate translation, that last line is
“daemonio meridiano.” According to
Andrew Solomon, church authors seized on the phrase to describe: “the thing
that you can see clearly in the brightest part of the day but that nonetheless
comes to wrench your soul away from God.”[iii]
Solomon’s book on the topic of
depression is called The Noonday Demon.
He explains why:
I have taken the
phrase as the title of this book because it describes so exactly what one experiences
in depression. The image serves to conjure the terrible feeling of invasion
that attends the depressive’s plight. There is something brazen about
depression. Most demons – most forms of anguish – rely on the cover of night;
to seem them clearly is to defeat them. Depression stands in the full glare of
the sun, unchallenged by recognition. You can know all the why and the
wherefore and suffer just as much as if you were shrouded by ignorance.[iv]
I
wonder if any of this sounds familiar to you, either from firsthand experience
or from the accounts of someone close to your heart. A recent annual survey by
the American College Health Association reported that 30% of college students
have felt “’so depressed that it was difficult to function’ at some time over
the past year.”[v]
The Mayo Clinic now has a section on its website dedicated specifically to
college depression.[vi]
The number of students seeking
counseling for "severe" psychological problems jumped from 16 percent
in 2000 to 39 percent in 2012; the percentage of students who report suicidal
thoughts has risen along with it.[vii]
And according to Emory University, 1 in 10 college students have made a
plan for suicide during their undergrad years. Emory reports that there are
about 1,000 suicides on college campuses across the country in a given year.[viii]
College students – students such as you – are, it seems, no strangers to the
noonday demon.
And if that’s the case – if the
noonday demon, the sort of personal darkness that seems immune to even the brightest
of lights, stalks its way across our campus – then we, as a community of faith,
need some sort of way to confront it.
As I said before, the way that the
church has tended to deal with mental illness and anguish in the past has been
to ignore or to stigmatize it, to associate it with demon possession or
laziness or personal sin. So part of what’s required is for us to roll back
that stigma, to bring what has been hidden in the shadows out into the light.
Just having a conversation about mental illness, just naming it as something
that can be talked about, helps.
But if the thing we’re talking about
is capable of doing its damage, even in the light, then more is needed. What do
we do? What do we say, when people we know – the people on our hallways or in
our classrooms or in our worship services – seem to be drowning?
Early on in the first three gospel accounts of
Jesus’ life, Jesus is baptized by John. And we are told that the skies open up
and that the voice of God declares Jesus to be beloved of God. Can you imagine
that kind of assurance – a voice from heaven saying that you are loved, that you
are valued and cared for and accepted?
And in each and every one of those
stories, Jesus immediately finds himself in a wilderness, hungry, alone, and
haunted by a demon who is immune to daylight.
Jesus, we are told, was tempted by the
devil. And in Matthew and Luke, where we are given some details about this
temptation, the devil appears quoting the Psalm that we heard tonight, Psalm
91. Matthew’s gospel, for examples, tells us: “The devil brought Jesus into the
holy city and stood him at the highest point of the temple. He said to him,
“Since you are God’s Son, throw yourself down; for it is written –and he quotes
the psalm – I will command my angels
concerning you, and they will take you up in their hands so that you won’t hit
your foot on a stone.” Jesus’ tempter says, “Have faith, Jesus. If you’re
so high, so beloved – if you’re here, literally at such a high point, at the
pinnacle of this holy place, go ahead and throw yourself down.”
I don’t think that the devil makes
people kill themselves. I don’t think mental illness is caused by literal demon
possession. But it sure does sound familiar to me – a voice that can come to
you even when you’ve just been told how loved you are, that can make you feel
lonely and isolated, make you doubt your mission and your passion and your
identity. It might not have horns and a tail and a pitchfork, but that voice is
very real.
What is notable about the story, I
think, when it comes to how we relate to those in our lives who are wrestling
with the noonday demon, is that the devil shows up to test Jesus’ faith, and
what Jesus says is in response is, “Don’t put God to the test.” A test, as it
turns out, is not what people need when they’re feeling alone in wilderness
places. They don’t need a test of faith. They don’t need to be told that if
they just tried harder or just prayed harder or just thought more positively
that they would feel better. They don’t need judgment. They need acceptance.
Friendship. Companionship.
John Swinton is a theologian who also works as
a community health chaplain in Scotland. He writes of the importance of
friendship in reclaiming the personhood of those struggling with mental
illness: “Unlike many agents with whom people with mental health problems may
come into contact, the task of the Christlike friend is not to do anything for them, but rather to be someone for them—someone who
understands and accepts them as a person; someone who is with and for them in the
way that God is also with and for them; someone who reveals the nature
of God and the transforming power of the Spirit of Christ in a form that is
tangible, accessible, and deeply powerful.”[ix]
Ultimately, what the psalm we read
tonight witnesses to is a God who is with and for us. And so we, too, are
called to be with and to be for those who are suffering. Perhaps
someone you know, or perhaps you, are feeling the pressure of always having to
be on, always having to be up, when they or you are really feeling the sort of
anguish that seems immune to even the brightest light. And there are many, many
resources on this campus and in the wider community that can help. But it
starts with a simple commitment, for each of us as individuals and for this
community, to reach out to those who are grappling with the noonday demon. To
be with them. To be for them. To be friends.
[i] Andrew
Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
(New York: Touchstone, 2001), 292.
[ii] Ibid.,
292-293.
[iii] Ibid.,
293.
[iv]
Ibid.
[ix]
John Swinton, Resurrecting the Person:
Friendship and the Care of People With Mental Health Problems (Nashville:
Abingdon, 2000), 143.
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